In scenes reminiscent of early September, the world’s media again descended on Birmingham as paparazzi camped outside ATAFC squad member’s mansions (the Westbrook pad called police when a snapper used the 20m pool to relieve himself after an eight hour wait for the much touted ‘header of the year’) and journalists pestered the relations of the team .
Athletico Tortured Artists again dominate the front and back pages of the papers this week, with a fresh season ahead of them, topping the table for the first time and last but not least an audacious bid to represent Great Britain at the 2012 Olympics. Also, in a week that saw Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow finally ‘make up’ at a Manchester United fixture, joint ATAFC top scorers Barber and Whipps continued their stand off as the announcement of ‘Goal of the Season’ grows ever closer.
The Mighty Artists intense relationship with the world media has continued with huge speculation around the new season (season tickets sold out within 3 hours with Damien Hirst thought to have out-bid Tracy Emin for the kop-end executive box’) and the Olympic excitement that has descended on the Moseley/Edgbaston area. Reports that a new training ground at Solihull college has been secured are yet to be confirmed as are rumours that Matt ‘epitaph’ Westrbook’s single appearance in goal will see him sensationally scoop the ‘best keeper’ award from under the nose of Chairman/manager /super-stopper Poolman.
Wednesdays Squad- first team to be announced Tuesday.
Chris Poolman
Matt Westbrook
Jake Masters
Phil Barber
Stuart Whipps
Gareth Hughes
Ian England
Alex Marzetta
Stuart Tait (injury concern raitng 6.4)
More to follow.
ATA FC sensationally called an early morning press conference this morning to announce that the deadline for award categories for the end of season awards ceremony is Tuesday evening 10.00 pm. All suggested award categories are to be posted on the blog or emailed to the Chairman, ready for voting forms to be distributed on Wednesday night. More to follow.
The players fans and officials at the mighty ATA FC were this morning reacting to the shocking news that star striker, Phil “the composer” Barber has been nominated for the prestigious Ivor Novello award!
The organisers of the award, now in its 6th decade felt that Barber’s variation on the classic “cheer up sleepy Jean” by The Monkees represented a “sumptuous blending of football and music not seen since the heady 80’s when previous Ivor Novello winners, Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle wooed the nation with Diamond Lights”
Unfortunately Barber, who lives between two reclusive compounds in Moseley and Solihull (said to be based on the living arrangements of Phil Spector) was unavailable for comment. However club chairman/goalkeeper/impresario Chris Poolman was effusive in his praise for Barber, and feels that this goes someway to vindicating what some have begun to question as the flawed ethos of ATAFC
“There were calls from some quarters for me to drop Barber after he missed that sitter on Wednesday but I mean that line ‘Cheer up Steve McQueen’ Pure genius. I think this is just the beginning. I’ve heard rumors that the lad England’s gonna be up for the Turner Prize with his performance piece ‘Astro Slide’.
The award will be announced to coincide with what is sure to be the hottest ticket of the year, the ATA FC end of season awards.
Nathaniel Pitt (‘portly player manager’ - his own words) is currently in the process of recruiting for the newly established Real Worcester Artists United FC. ATA FC wish him the best of luck - it will be a long, difficult and dangerous journey trying to find artists who can play football, but ATA FC have faith that the creative footballing spirit will prevail and RWA FC will emerge as a glorious addition to British Artist’s Football. In a possibly related incident, the Poolman team bus (hotly tipped to win ‘car of the season’ at the end of season awards ceremony, although facing strong competition from the Westbrook Wasp, Whipp’s Cruiser and Barber Metro) was spotted driving through the worcestershire countryside late last night. ATA FC officials were keen to stress that this had nothing to do with the spate of Slominski inspired penalty spot thefts that ruined sunday league football across the worcester region this morning. More to follow.
At Aston University the following times are available in one hour time slots:
Indoor Sports Hall: Wed 9-10
Thur 9-10.
Outdoor Floodlit Astroturf pitches:
Mon - 7 / 8 / 9
Tue - 6 / 7 / 9
Wed - 7
Fri - 6 / 8 / 9
To avoid floodlight glare, Matt ‘Elton’ Westb-rawk-O-mama will wear specially designed ‘hi-vis’ eyewear this Wednesday, initially in a bid to lighten the mood dwelling over the Yardley Wood squad but mainly to highlight his ongoing campaign for a ‘headers won’ column to be added on the ATA FC homepage. ‘Young Men. There’s no need to be down.’ ‘Elton’ was reported to say earlier.
I am a realist. Football is a metaphor for the time and place you are playing in. He who does not agree with the evolution of football does not believe in the evolution of the world.
It is a great contradiction where teams often fall down in that they look for results before they have the game.
There is a football that happens on its own terms and there is a football that is documented. The perversion is that, at times, the football that is documented is more important than ‘real’ football. This speaks volumes about the power of the media who, on many occasions, instead of defending the truth defend economic interests.
Among the favourite vices of sports journalism is the need to individualise success and failure. It is inevitable that has applied to Maradona. You cannot compete with genius. You must embrace it and enjoy it.
Maradona was the great reference point of that team and it is true that the memory enhances his image at that time while reducing that of the collective unit but it was a great team of mature players who could live, on and off the pitch, with the genius of Diego.
Players’ earnings are related to what they produce and they now produce more than they did in past decades. Capitalist justice.
Science brings progress but it has its limits on the world of sport as much as art. I would be the same player. Nothing more, nothing less.
